As I wrote this entry I was seated on the deck of a cruise ship off the coast of Chile. I am not sure how this trip came about or really how I became a part of it, but I blindly agreed to join as I prepared to leave Ghana. I knew nothing of the details, but couldn’t pass up the chance to travel Argentina, Uruguay and Chile for a month. As details arose it quickly became evident that this trip wouldn’t be about the places I would see, but instead the people I would spend time with along the way. Myself and nine others arrived in Buenos Aires, Argentina on the morning of December 28th and left from Santiago, Chile on January 18th. Our journey took us from Argentina to Uruguay back to Argentina then around the cape to Chile. The group ranged in age from 28-62 years my senior. Nope, that isn’t a typo. We were quite the group. There were ten of us in all, but only three main characters, all of which are well-traveled elderly women. To say the least they broke the mold with these characters. For the sake of confidentiality I have chosen to refer to these individuals as Left Brain, Right Brain and No Brain.
I saw penguins, seals and birds of all kinds. I photographed fjords, glaciers and waterfalls. I hiked bogs and mountains, strolled the streets of large cities and quant little towns, and eat at amazing restaurants. But, none of it was as memorable as the BRAINS. Left Brian is an outgoing California transplant living in Kentucky. Her colorful style and relentless compassion make her a fun and loveable character. On the other hand, Right Brain is a bit more reserved. As an 84-year old California real estate tycoon, she enthusiastically travels the world with an analytical eye. No Brain is a Kentucky native with a creative flare, comedic value and a tendency to imagine unfathomable tragedy. She may be brainless, but she couldn’t have a bigger heart. Though the others don’t play prominent roles in this blog, they were full of personality too. From this age differentiation I learned a tremendous amount about being, with all due respect, OLD. I will pass along a few of those lessons now.
Lesson One - Old people do what they want.
Before we had even left the Lexington airport rule number one was evident. We had already cut the check-in line, snuck into the Delta Lounge and boarded the plane late. They also get three Biscoff cookies on the plane instead of one like everyone else. Old people go in whatever line they want even if they are in Argentine customs and the sign says “Residents of Argentina ONLY”.
To top it off they don’t follow pedestrian rules. Who would want to walk straight down the street when you can zigzag and stop in the middle of everything? Left Brain window shops with tunnel vision and in Montevideo I found Right Brain dancing to techno in the street outside a punk skate shop. Who would want to hold on to their bags so they aren’t snatched? Not them. They walk across the street whenever they want and miraculously traffic stops. Right Brain even went as far as asking a traffic officer to move from his position in the middle of a busy street so that she could take a picture from where he was standing. As traffic wised around her she calmly captured images while the officer struggled to keep her safe. The list goes on, each incident more laughable than the last. I can’t wait to be an old rebel rule breaker.
Lesson Two- Old people wear what they want.
There is one stipulation to this rule. It must be black or white. Right Brain wears white pants with a black and white top everyday accessorized with face swallowing black sun glasses, a bedazzled black Ed Hardy hat, three massive rings, at least three bracelets and ear rings. Left Brain wears glasses with one square and one circle frame while No Brain wears triangle glasses. No Brain also sports tights with some sort of tunic or skirt everyday. I must say it makes shopping a breeze. The only decision is black or white. Who needs the rest of the color wheel?
Lesson Three- Old People say what they want.
Negative or positive they just said it. This lesson became apparent at an evening Tango show in Buenos Aires. We sat in a cramped dim theatre as a busy wait staff served up food reminiscent of the airplane food we had choked down the prior evening. No Brain was quick to let the staff know about her distaste and insist that to keep her quiet they needed to give her all the red wine she wanted. They complied with her demands and she was nodding off in her chair the rest of the evening. The Brains are always ready to extend a compliment, particularly to men in uniform; Doormen, waiters, officers and tour guides. Leave no young man un-hit on. Their target wasn’t always male. At the tango show, the peanut gallery let them know how great the performance was. In an intense moment, Left Brain shouted out over the crowd, “ Would you look at her knockers! I want her body.” Hooting from Right Brain shortly followed. All I heard about the rest of the evening was how the Brains were going to exercise and eat right to get a body like the tango star.
Additionally, the Brains can strike up a conversation with anyone. No Brain is particularly gifted at this. For example, she told our waiter he looked like Obama, ask the captain about pirates and stole triangle tea bags off other tables to initiate conversation. I was always amazed at what came out of their mouths. Lesson Four- It’s okay to fall as long as you get up.
Two traumatic tumbles and a plane crash led to this more serious conclusion. The first of which was less graceful, but more laughable. Left Brain fell over a parking post outside a market in Buenos Aires as she ate a granola bar. Three lurches forward and a face plant later she only had two concerns. Where is the granola bar and were her glasses broken? After dusting herself off she proclaimed that bruises are better than breaks and walked back to the ship.
The second fall was more graceful, but much less laughable. Right Brain caught the toe of her shoe on the sidewalk one block from the ship in the beach resort town of Punta Del Esta, Uruguay. After her short flight she lay face down on the concrete. I assumed the worst, but with assistance she rolled over smiling. Though she was bleeding profusely from her mouth and nose, she was so excited that she had all her teeth and could move her arms and legs. The Uruguayan observers couldn’t have been friendlier. The Police escorted her to the hospital were a very long line convinced them to take her back to the ship for treatment. I went with her to help and she just kept saying how lucky she was to get a free tour of the beautiful city.
Both of these incidents were minor, but the final tragedy was not. Miles away in Southern California a friend of the Brains was killed in a plane crash. He had been flying in poor health and without a current license. It was heart wrenching yet intriguing to see how differently each of them dealt with the loss. Right Brain was stoic and attempted to rationalize it. Left Brain was openly emotional and reflective. All the while, No Brain worried about the safety of her own flight home. The physical deterioration of an individual is much easier to understand than the mental traumas that accumulate with age. Loss and change are difficult at any age, but we must find a way to deal. We are dead until our heart stops beating, so until then I hope I live my life like the Brains. 
